Ten Steps to Leading Restoratively
Leading restoratively
For many of us, our image of leadership has been shaped by stories of ‘fighting to be heard’, ‘standing our ground’ and ‘winning over opposition’ – all ideas that speak to an adversarial relationship with others and a win-lose dynamic to decision-making.
Yet these ideas can feel counter to our ambitions of building inclusive, equitable communities, and to our values of respect, dialogue, and the empowerment of others which shape our wider practice.
Within higher education and elsewhere, more attention is being paid to a concept of leadership which draws on ideas from restorative practice (Zehr, 2015) and emphasises the value of offering high levels of support to empower others to meet high expectations. When standards are not met, the focus is on helping others to understand the harm they have caused, take responsibility, and make amends, rather than on determining which rule has been broken, by whom and what sanction should be imposed.
Restorative leadership, focusing on supporting others to be accountable for their own actions and their own solutions, may appear more aligned with wider ideas of encouraging personal responsibility and autonomy, positioning leadership as a way to partner and guide, rather than judge.
What does restorative leadership look like
Ted Wachtel notes that, “Human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”
A tool developed by Wachtel with Paul McCold termed the ‘Social Discipline Window’ outlines four examples of relationship styles and helps us reflect on our own practice, and the support and challenge we offer to others.
Low expectations and low support = Neglectful
High expectations and low support = Punitive/Authoritarian
High support and low expectations = Permissive
High support and high expectations = Restorative
As Lindsey Pointer, co-lead of the US National Center on Restorative Justice explains, the neglectful strategy is not to do anything when issues arise, offering no support and having no expectations of better behaviour. The punitive strategy expects high standards of behaviour but offers very little support to help others meet them. When standards are not met, something is done to the other person in the form of sanctions or punishment, which does not support the other person to meet the expected standards and can often breed resentment. The permissive strategy is when we expect little from others and accept weak excuses when standards are not met. This often results in overall standards falling as others see they can ‘get away with it’ and often respect for the leader is lost. The restorative strategy, however, works with the other person to support them to meet high expectations.
How can we develop a restorative mindset
As a first step to developing a restorative approach to leadership, Lindsey Pointer, advises committing some time to self-reflection and identifying which strategy on the Social Discipline Window is our default response, and the area where we may need to push ourselves, for example, remembering to hold high expectations of behaviour with the people in our life or to take a step back and show support.
Ten steps to leading restoratively
Drawing on the principles articulated by Howard Zehr, regarded by many as the ‘grandfather’ of restorative practice, there are ten key ways to lead (and live) restoratively that can be implemented immediately, at no cost and which will model ways of being that will help cultivate a culture of mutual respect and trust.
1. Take relationships seriously: we live in an interconnected web of people, institutions, and the environment.
2. Be aware of the impact of our actions on others.
3. Take responsibility when our actions negatively impact others, acknowledging and seeking to repair the harm, even if it might feel easier to let the matter rest.
4. Listen to others to try to understand their point of view. Ask them questions: don’t assume you know how a person feels or why they are doing something or what they need to feel heard/valued.
5. Involve those affected by a decision, as much as possible, in the decision-making process.
6. View the conflicts in your life as opportunities for growth.
7. Treat everyone with respect, including those who offend you.
8. Engage in dialogue with others, even when what is being said is difficult, remaining open to learning from them.
9. Be cautious about imposing your “truths” and views on other people and situations.
10. When safe to do so, sensitively confront everyday injustices including sexism, racism and transphobia.
Being a restorative leader
In essence, a restorative approach to leadership focuses on supporting others to find and use their voice, and play a full and equitable role in decision-making, and when conflict occurs, supporting honest and direct accountability, coupled with determined efforts to heal what has been broken and reunite what has been divided. Even small steps can have a large impact, positively impacting on the wellbeing and productivity of others.
Bringing people together restoratively
An effective method of encouraging inclusive participation in a meeting is the ‘restorative circle’, where participants are invited to share their thoughts sequentially (perhaps following the participant list in an online meeting or around a seated circle in an in-person meeting). This simple but effective technique helps build community and raises the visibility of all participants, giving everyone present their own turn to speak without interruption (or to pass to the next person) and preventing those who feel more confident in the space volunteering to speak first, speak repeatedly and often dominate discussions. The circle is easily adaptable and can be used for check-ins, gathering views and setting goals (find out more here).
Addressing conflict restoratively
There will be times where conflict occurs. Often this can result in groups becoming divided, complaints being raised, and some feeling isolated, even excluded. A restorative approach can help to address difficulties openly and honestly, repairing harm caused by conflict, and ideally strengthening the community to prevent further harm.
One approach that can be used when difficulties arise is to ask three simple ‘restorative questions’:
What happened?
How does that make you feel?
What do you need now to move forward?
These questions place the emphasis on the needs and concerns of the individual, giving them the space to feel heard and understood, and empowered to identity their own needs. The questions help all parties resist falling into the roles of victim, rescuer or persecutor and enable the questioner to remain supportive but impartial, not fixing the problem for the other person but recognising the other’s capability and resourcefulness and supporting them to help themselves.
Successful restorative leadership
Sequoia Owen, founder of The Brilliant Lead, a coaching and consulting business that assists non-profit professionals in building leadership skills and creating a positive work culture, notes that thriving restorative environments will look different across different types of organizations. However, common indicators across all staff levels include:
Staff who are empowered and equipped to do their best work
High retention rates with clear opportunities for growth
A culture where mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities
A sense of ownership of organizational priorities
A culture that allows staff to be themselves without fear of retaliation or negative consequences for their self-worth and career
Dr Jane Bryan is a Reader in Law at the University of Warwick, a solicitor (non-practising) and restorative justice facilitator and mediator. Her research interests are the use of dialogue to build, maintain and restore relationships. Jane is co-lead of the Warwick International Higher Education Academy Restorative Justice in Higher Education Learning Circle, and founded and leads Warwick Mediation, a peer mediation service for staff and students at Warwick University.